30 "Reasons Why I'm a Dick" Facts About Me

1.  I love to make self-indulgent listicles talking about myself. 
2.  I just used the word Listicle. 
3. As with pretty much every list I write, there's always a little fan girl in the back of my head wanting it to go viral... cause you know... I'm alllllll about that dollar. #helpmeimpoor. 
4. I genuinely find myself funny. I will always laugh at my own jokes. 
5. I'm writing this purely for my own amusement apologies if you're bored rigid already. 
6.  I don't comment enough on other people's blogs. Like I read them... but I don't comment. I'm a bad person. 
7. I'm one of those people that will tip spare change in restaurants - "here's 25p made up from the coppers, I don't even think you deserve a tip but you're welcome! please don't spit in my food"  
8. I refuse to pay for bottled water unless that's the only drink I'm having, in which case I make a huge deal about the fact I'm drinking bottled water ... I've been known to take the glass bottle home with me. 
9. I get mind-numbingly envious over bloggers that started last week and already have 10,000 followers... *internal sobs into almond dream ice-cream*
10. I'm a dietary requirement nightmare. Pescetarian with dairy intolerance... restaurants are hell. 
11. I genuinely love my cats more than 90% of people. 
12. I speak for my cats. Tigger has a Russian accent. I don't know why.
13. Tigger is also actually a mooncub and is from the moon. He seeks to destroy human kind. 
14. You have no idea how funny I find the above two facts. 
15. I'm at that point where I'm starting to feel smug about being in the same relationship for almost 9 years. 13-year old me knew what she wanted in life. Screw you countless people that told me I was too young to settle down!
16. Even though I haven't found employment yet, I'm still not going to apply to work in my local co-op... I can't do it to myself. I left when I was 17 and I'm not going back! 
17. I own around 200 books and I have 60 or so to read, yet,  I'm still going on a book haul in a few days... YOLO.
18. I still use YOLO.
19. I hate being stereotyped as an Essex girl to the point where I've told people I was from Suffolk.
20. I can't share food. At all. 
21. I will eat cheese knowing that it will make me ill and I will still moan that other people allowed me to eat it. 
22. I own over 100 nail polishes but will consistently use the same 5-6. Ooops. 
23. I hate speaking on the phone. If it's for business or important reasons I'm fine, but if you pass me the phone for a friendly chat to a family member expect that phone to be thrown back at you. 
24. I frequently wonder if my life is actually a dream and I'm going to wake up as a toddler. 
25. I can become obsessed with something really quickly and then just as quickly forget about it. 
26. I will full on ugly cry if I'm hungry and there isn't anything around that I fancy eating. 
27. I have a love/hate relationship with Avocado. Why do you taste so shit on your own but you're so heavenly with chipotle & garlic granules?
28. I spent 3 years moaning about University and now I've left I have spent more time crying over missing it than I ever did when I was actually there. 
29. This is the second year in a row when I've committed myself to NaNoWriMo but haven't actually managed to write anything... sigh.
30. I never actually intended to write 30 facts.
31. This is my last fact and it's not even no.30... how anti-climactic. 

I hope you enjoyed this little random post. I just felt like writing something to make myself laugh. You gotta do, what you gotta do.