Letting Go Of The Negativity

In my last post, I said that I wanted to start sharing more of my personal life on my blog. It's really easy to get into a rut with blogging and I feel like I've very much been in one for the past few months. You fall into the lull of posting reviews and lists and sort of forget to connect with your readers. 

So this is me, opening up, not being a massive downer and just filling you in on my life right now. 

I've documented my struggle with job hunting quite a few times before so I'm not going to bore you with those details again but in case you're interested here are the links:

7 Life Questions I'm Bored of Answering

So You Want A Graduate Job?

How To Survive After University

This is a long one so you may want to get a cup of tea or something...

Ever since leaving Uni in May I've been in a weird head space, I had expected to come back home and for it to feel like a summer holiday again, but it didn't. Suddenly a mound of pressure was on my shoulders to get a job, go to graduation and wow everyone with said new job, and be moved out by November. I quickly learnt that life doesn't always work out so smoothly. 

And so I am sat here today on a Wednesday in September, having graduated just over a week ago, still jobless and still no closer to moving out. But guess what, I'm okay with it.

Though for a long time, I wasn't. A few weeks before my graduation I was a state.

I had been rejected from a job that was perfect for me, I was getting nowhere with any of the other applications I had sent out and I was in a very lonely dark place. However graduation came and, although my anxiety had reared its ugly head, it was a good day. 

"As I threw my mortar board in the air, it was as though I was letting go of all the negativity that had plagued me in the past few months."

Now post-graduation I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I've learnt that a lot of my fellow graduates are in very similar if not identical situations and, that it's OKAY to not be employed right now. 

In the last week, I've really been focusing on pushing out the negativity in my life and focusing on being positive; looking at things with a glass half full mindset. 

I'm teaching myself how to not stress about being unemployed, how to make the most of my situation and how to become a better person for it. 

I decided that I needed to let go of the negativity and start changing my outlook. 

So I've re-arranged my desk, got rid of a load of old clutter and made my room feel like an adults room, as it was just a constant reminder of my years at school & college the way it was. 

I've given myself a new focus for the time being, I want to use as much of my time on my blog and creating content. I would love to one day be able to actually call my little space on the net "my job" but it's definitely nowhere near that point yet! 

So whilst I'm still applying for jobs, I'm going to start treating my blog as one. Not only will it help to keep my writing in an okay state, but it will also give me some purpose to my life, that I was seriously lacking! 

I'm at a point where essentially I have nothing to lose. I have no job anyway and 0 income outside of my very supportive parents, so I have everything to gain by taking a chance and putting myself out there. After all, I actually really really love it. 

I love having my own little space on the internet where I can freely talk about whatever I want, I have no deadlines, no targets and no one holding a leash on what content I produce. I can just focus on what I want to do and what makes me happy and that is a very freeing feeling. 

Of course, I will still be looking for jobs on the side (I'm not crazy enough to think that I can actually survive on my blog alone... I'm not even making any money on AdSense!) but I'm no longer in the mindset that I have to get a job immediately to be a good person, or to live up to everyone's expectations. I can just be me. 

So really this was a super rambling post but I hope it made some sort of sense? 

I feel like this is something that A LOT of graduates are going through right now, the job market is pretty pants and it's tough out there, so I hope that by opening up about my experiences it helps at least one other person who's going through a similar experience. 

Negativity is a bitch and it can really muck with your head, letting go of it and embracing the positives has been the best thing I've done all year and I can't wait to see where it takes me.

* The first photo is my best friend Roisin and I. She had been one of my rocks throughout University and I don't think I would have gotten this far without her. You can find her on twitter @RoshhNosh, she's amazing.*